The Cableman Always Rings Twice

(originally written 10-12-2007)


Or three times. Or four. Or five. At least, that's the case when you have Maya the Destroyer on the job, chewing through cable lines.

You might be thinking, "But she doesn't look like a destroyer." Don't let that innocent face and those baby blue eyes fool you. Maya could demolish an armored car in sixty seconds flat. Oh, she's a sweetheart, as far as her personality goes. She's one of the sweetest, most loving dogs I've ever met, but I'm not about to let my cell phone get anywhere near her. She ate my step-father's cell phone once. She's chewed up a few of his boots, too.

And that brings me back to the cable lines. What does one do when the cable TV goes out? Call the cable company, naturally. When Charter sent their repairman out, he approached the back yard cautiously. Although all of the dogs had been put into their kennels prior to his arrival, I suppose he found the howling, dog house jumping, yodeling canines a bit intimidating. He quickly discovered the source of the TV viewing problems...cable lines chewed nearly in half. Obviously, a Husky was responsible, but how did we come to the conclusion that Maya was the culprit?

First, consider Maya's history of demolition. Then, there is the proximity of the cable lines to her kennel. However, the evidence was inconclusive. The cable was fixed, and television restored to the household. For a time. Until it went out again.

This time, Maya the Destroyer was caught in the act. The cable guy came out. Again. I can imagine the conversation back at the office. "It's those crazy Siberian people again...yeah, dog ate the cable line again." They probably have a repairman on standby just for our address!

The question I have is why Maya repeatedly chooses to chew on the cable line when there are plenty of other interesting things for her to chew on out there. And electricity does exist out in the kennels...there are lights and fans in each kennel. My only theory is that she feels if she can't have cable television out in her kennel, then nobody else should have it! After all, a dog should be able to watch the newest episodes of "Meercat Manor" and "Animal Cop," shouldn't she?